How to overcome self doubt gain self confidence

Are you too honest for your own good?

Have you ever wondered whether you are too honest for your own good? Now what do I mean by that, let me explain. For Example, you go for a job interview and the interviewer tell you that you’ll have to achieve these unrealistic targets, do you say yes I will do that even though you know you are not so sure about it and then your mind starts thinking is that possible. What I mean to be precise is, let’s say the name of the company is X and you have heard the name for the first time in your life and the interviewer says that they have this event and you have to get the top people for that event, then the mind starts thinking I just heard the name of the company now, so how do I really manage to reach such top people and communicate to them that this is a fabulous company and you should take some time out an come for it’s event. So you are thinking and trying to give the interviewer a honest answer and,  the interviewer assumes that you lack confidence. Even though you know it’s not that you lack confidence, but are trying to be a realist here. Well to be really honest, you’ll have to be a little realistic and say I will give it my best shot. But then in this world today even that is considered to be a lack of confidence.

What a lot of these interviewers expect is a person who says, yes it will be done. Now, saying yes it will be done is a sure shot way of getting the message across that table that you do not lack confidence at all, maybe a little over confident but works. Now let’s get to the point what’s this about honesty and confidence. Well we all have out flaws, now when we think about our flaws with a view of trying to overcome them, we tend to think about them every time some challenges crop up, like in the case illustrated above, what happened. You went for the interview and then your mind started thinking a lot of things, like is the company brand good enough to get the kind of people for the events, how will I manage that, will I be able to deliver, should I tell him/her yes I will be able to do this job, what will happen if I don’t deliver, what if I manage to get no one, and then the thoughts start going downhill, till you start having doubts about your own abilities. And all you are doing is making an honest assessment.

STOP IT

Stop this assessment now. You don’t need to honestly think of so many things, with so much doubt. What you need to do is start having some faith in yourself. When an unrealistic target was given to you, all you could have done was believed that you are up to the job to get those people and half of your problems would have solved themselves. The interviewer would have seen the confident you, would have realized that this person will be an asset to my company. And automatically you would have said yes sir I will be able to do that.

Now, understand the point, when you try to be too honest in your self assessment, you tend to develop a lot of self doubts. This in turn will make you look like a person low on confidence and that won’t help you much.

So how do you gain that confidence, no matter what all the confidence gurus say, it is ultimately you who has to think and figure out a way to boost your confidence. One of the best methods has been to fake it.

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

Well this will work, even when you are not a confident person start behaving like a confident person, to actually motivate yourself to do this, you do have to change a few things in your life, few simple things.

Groom yourself well, the better you look the more confident you’ll feel.

Stay clean and hygienic.

Strike the power pose just for two minutes, the one which every confidence coach says, keep both your arms on your waist and stand with your shoulders up and chest out of two minutes, even two minutes will work wonders with your mind.

Smile, this is a big trigger, when you smile you’ll actually feel happy and that in turn will boost your confidence.

Find one good thing about yourself, maybe you have a caring nature, good smile, good listener, manage to strike up a good conversation etc. One good thing and start to be happy about that.

Stop thinking what others will think about what you say or do, this is easy to say but really difficult to do. So you’ll have to consciously work hard on this. Every time a thought like this comes to your head, and trust me it comes a lot of times and it disguises itself in so many ways that it becomes really difficult to point out when it comes. But you need to stay aware and negate this negative thought completely.

BE LIKE A BABY, not a worry in the world.

Well all this is easy to type, but not that easy to implement. But one BABY STEP A TIME and you’ll get it.

Just remember that you are in no way inferior than the people around you, you have the same capabilities, all you need to do is start believing that.

I will come up with a few more interesting ideas and tips about this soon and will post it and share it with you all. Even I am working on my confidence.

Tamasha Review - Such a Beautiful journey

Tamasha is a simple story, more than a story it is a journey. Ved , who has grown up listening to stories meets Tara on an exotic island by chance. They decide to make their story different. So they decide that they will just lie and live a lie in this whole trip together. That's Tamasha, Living this lie, and enjoying this vacation, they start liking each other, but then this is all a lie, so in the end they have to leave each other and go back to their real lives. So, what happens after the holiday, do they meet again , and what will happen when they meet and see the real them.

Well watch the film to know all that. 

This is a beautiful film, should not be missed, you will love this simple story, you’ll love the chemistry between Ranbir and Deepika. Performances by both have been pretty good. The cinematography of this film is mesmerizing, you’ll just want to get lost in Corsica. The music is soulful. Imtiaz Ali’s as always narrates a beautiful tale. 

Enjoy this one, it’s one of those beautiful journeys. 

Watch my Video Review here

Not a film review Shaandaar

Watch "Shaandaar - Movie Review l Shahid Kapoor And Alia Bhatt" on YouTube - Shaandaar Review

Shaandaar is the story of two families who fix up a wedding as a business deal to save their respective fortunes.

As far as the story or plot of this film goes , there is absolutely none. The film disappoints in a big way in that department. Lots of mindless jokes make up for the plot line. 

The film is visually stunning and you'll just love the way it's shot. I mean seriously as far as the visuals are concerned the film looks spectacular, I wish the same could be said about the story. 

The actors have done a decent job, Shahid, Alia, Pankaj Kapoor, Sanjay Kapoor , Sushma Seth everyone has done justice to the parts they were given. 

Music is peppy and nice and tries to lift this movie. But without a basic plot it just keeps drifting mindlessly and becomes a drag after a point of time. 

Vikas Bhal gave us the entertaining Queen, and now this. I seriously don't know what made him make this film. 

As far as the rating goes I would like to give this film two stars just for the visuals and music. This is one which is worth giving a miss and saving some of your hard earned cash in these times of high prices. 

Irrfan's Party Song - AIB is Awesome :P

 

   I really felt that after the roast controversy, which did give them good advertising, really trust our politicos to do the hard work of creating a controversy out of a controversial gig and give it more mileage than the producers intended to, AIB would be a little off the radar. But why they never did anything wrong, if you are offended by watching people being offended then don't watch the roast, SIMBLE.

Well After the Roast, why am I still roasting, well to get to the point, this is a post by AIB which is seriously hilarious. A brilliant take on the Party songs which Bollywood keeps churning out, which converted Honey Singh to lots of Money Singh. 

Enough talking watch it, and let me warn you even this has some flowery cuss words, so if you are offended don't watch or maybe get off the INDERNED. 

ADIOS AMIGOS

Fast and Furious 7 Not a movie review

Watched this one the day it released ... And boy this one was one hell of a ride ...  Supercars ... Flying cars ... Para dropping  Cars .... Racing Cars .... Street car chases ... And the technological marvel known as Gods eye ... My my that was one wonderful bit of conceptual tech which got a tech geek like me very excited ... I mean just think about the possibilities ... Oh those who don't know what I am talking about .. Well the god particle is a tech which can be used to track anyone anywhere .... It uses all the available cameras in the vicinity like the CCTV setup and whatever other cameras that are linked to the internet like the cameras attached to your cell phones ... Phew just imagine if that becomes real ... Scary ... If you can't understand my explanation of the tech plz do watch the film to understand it better.

Now as I have done earlier I don't want to get into the story of the film ... All I will say for now is it's a fantastic film and a very beautiful tribute to the late Paul Walker ... Believe me when I say I saw grown men with tears in their eyes after the film.

It really got me thinking about the magic of cinema.... The way it keeps everyone alive even after they are gone.... It felt so good to see Paul Walker. That's the beauty of cinema. 

As always I try and observe what I can learn, well this is not a preachy film so this one is a little difficult for me. Primarily I can say that I hope a thing such as the gods eye is never developed, if it is then maybe we will have to go live in a cave away from all gadgets to keep our privacy intact. But is it really intact today, I mean whatever these tech giants claim, I sometimes do get the feeling that all our private conversations and mails can be snooped upon as and when they want to. The good thing about the plain old postal mail was the amount or ability to snoop was less and very difficult when it came to snooping without being detected. I mean a small tear or signs of re sealing would have alerted us that someone has been reading our mails. But with emails I guess we will never know. Technology has certainly made our life easier but it has also made it more public and too open. So people always think before you type, that's the new mantra, the old one was look before you leap. 

As for this film it is must watch for all you fanatics because it's well made and you have to give that ovation and claps to Paul one last time. Enjoy the ride yes beware of the gods eye. 

Disney's Cinderella Not a movie review

Saw the film a few days ago and here I am again with my special take, which is not going to be a movie review but what I saw in the movie. So, here we go.

I am not going to be narrating the whole story here, come on it's an age old fairy tale and almost everyone might be knowing it, okay not almost everyone, but everyone who's read the story. But still a lot of you might. 

The most powerful line in this latest version of Cinderella made by Disney is, "Have courage and be kind". Such a simple but powerful line. That's what Cinderella's mom told her and it took her some time to completely understand it but eventually she did. How many of us do understand the power of that line. The power of kindness and the importance of having courage. In life we all want to do lots of thing and want to be a lot of things, but then how many of us do actually have the courage to pursue these dreams and go ahead to achieve them. Most of us end up entering the rat race and start existing because of the want of stability and ya money. A very few of us show true courage and go ahead and pursue that dream, and attain that greatness which we always desire. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and then there quite a few of us who don't , not because we can't, but we just lack that little bit of courage to work towards it. Fear stops us it does, the day we overcome it we will be able to achieve a lot of things in life. So, in life always have the courage to do what you have always wanted to do. 

Now to the next part, what is more difficult than having courage is being kind. Whoever you are or whatever you might have achieved in life always remember to be kind and considerate towards others and to those who have been less fortunate than you. Kindness in itself is a great power. It will earn you respect and you'll never be alone in life. You'll earn the greatest wealth of it all. The love of people and the universe. So, remember HAVE COURAGE AND BE KIND. 

Now back to Cinderella , it's a beautiful story and Disney has definitely made a good film with some really crisp editing and beautiful visuals. The movie is really very pleasing to the eye. 

Personally I find the story beautiful but yes it's a bit depressing if you actually look at it from the position Cinderella is. Truly it does require a lot of courage to go through all she has been through and still manage to smile. The end is happy, no doubt beautiful, but I will not wish anyone go through the pain the poor girl goes through, before the story reaches it's happy ending. But, then such is the world of fairy tales, there are always a lot of dark and sad things that happen here. Then again, it's a world where a little magic exists. 

But you know what, the magic exists even in our world. The magic here is belief and faith. Believe that something good is going to happen, and have faith that it will happen. There you have it that's magic. It works, just believe and have faith. 

So, before I sign off for now, remember the powerful lines from this film. HAVE COURAGE AND BE KIND, and HAVE FAITH AND BELIEVE IN THAT BIT OF MAGIC. Until next time Cheers , keep smiling keep believing. 

NH10 Not a movie review

So here I am again after watching another movie this week. NH10 is a pretty good film and I don't want to dwell into it and write a review there are lots of others on the net to see an refer if you feel like it. I just want to write my observations from the film like I did for DUM LAGAKE HAISHA the last time around, okay observation is a pretty strong word I would prefer saying my humble learnings from the film. Okay here goes nothing. 

No Anushka don't scream I won't do that bad you see. Okay now as everyone knows the plot , fine not everyone but everyone who has seen the film does it's about a couple going on an almost honeymoon trip to some village for the wife's birthday and they encounter some goons picking up a girl and a boy when they are sitting eating their lunch at a dhaba. It looks like it's going to be a honour killing from what is being seen, well the husband .... Okay don't get too confused the husband I am referring to is Anushkas husband our films hero... Goes and stands up to the goons but then the angry goon who is the brother of the girl being picked slaps the hero ... This sends him on an ego trip and he is fuming like all heroes do ... But then our hero here isn't Chulbul Pandey so for the moment he just fumes and can't do anything ... Well he is still fuming and driving with his wife trying to calm him when on a desolate stretch of the highway he spots something .... The same car that the goons were in going to an even more desolate spot on the highway .... So our ego tripper decides to be brave ... Very brave and follows the goons to the spot they are going ... Stops his car at a distance ... Takes out his wife's gun and marches on to have some fun at the goons expense... Scare them and all you see with the gun... Village bumpkins you see will be scared and run helter skelter on seing a gun... Now what does he see... Oh these goons are barbaric they are kicking the girl and the boy ... The ones they picked up from the Dhabha where our hero was slapped ... On seeing their displays of barbarism our hero comes to his senses and decides to run back to his wifey but then by then it's too late and all he'll breaks loose.

 Well I told I won't tell the story but still I did let out a lot of it so nothing more ... Okay so what did I learn ... Our hero while he thought he was being brave was actually being foolish ... Why would a bunch of goons take a couple to a desolate spot on a desolate stretch of the highway ... To get them married ... Duh ... There is a very thin line between bravery and stupidity and I guess our hero didn't see that and ended up being plain stupid. So boys and girls learn from this and be brave but don't be stupid. 

But yes now to the serious part, honour killings are very much the bitter truth which a lot of us ignore and quite a few accept it as part of life... Which is shameful and disgraceful ... Stand up to it and bring some change in the mindsets of the people who think like that ... Won't happen overnight but gradually and slowly change will come if a sustained effort is put towards it. 

What our hero did was plain stupid because driven by his ego he ended up losing a lot of things. But then it needs to be asked, what can be done when you find yourself in such a situation that you know a honour killing is going to happen, what will you do if you know that this area is so rural that even the police are going to be of no help and are almost hand in glove with the goons. The only sensible thing to do sadly is run away from there and try and do something about it after you are safe and able to do something ... Maybe raise awareness .. Maybe spread the word ... Maybe bring about a change in the society ... Everything is a maybe ... There are no definitive answer to it.... Remember to do what you feel is right ... But remember don't be stupid. 

Back to the movie .... Really loved the way Anushka kicked the goons sorry asses later on with so much cold blooded intensity..... But well well that will happen only in a movie MAYBE ... So don't get too inspired by that and do something foolish like what our hero did. 

Go enjoy the film it's pretty good with some pretty solid performances, and learn what you can learn from it. Ya if possible do your bit to try and bring about a positive change in the society. 

Cheers for now have a beautiful day.

Not a movie review Dum lagake haisha

Well I just saw the film Dum Lagake Haisha and this time after watching a film I don't feel like reviewing the film but I really feel like thinking what this film tells us about life and how beautiful it is

As the poster claims love comes in all sizes .... Yes love does come in all sizes but love also comes in all colors.... That's what the movie got me thinking. You know like when I hear relatives discussing suitable grooms and brides in functions the most common thing that I get to hear is yes the girl is fair, yes the boy is tall, yes she looks good, yes he is an engineer, etc etc .... Really these are our parameters of choosing a suitable bride or a groom... So what happens to all the dark girls and short boys and non educated lot out there... Most of the times they have to go for what they get ... Is that the truth.... Well if you look at the society we live in today ... Maybe yes ... But maybe no as well.... Because sometimes yes sometimes this tingly feeling called love manages to smudge these things and create magic.

So if you ask me what is love.... Well it's the magic that makes life beautiful... And not because you get butterflies in your stomach but because it transcends everything ... Color , weight , height , race, religion , money.... Love manages to make these things appear negligible. 

That's what you'll see in this movie, and if you watch you'll see how by understanding someone you'll be able to know the real beauty of that person and just good looks don't mean anything if you don't have a beautiful soul.